The first time I had ever listened to Kill Hannah I was with my mom in the car, an Independent radio station played “Kennedy” and I fell in love! I was like, “what an awesome chick band!” I knew nothing about them. I remember waiting through the commercials afterwords so I could figure out what their name was, but they must have forgotten to mention who they were. I was so sad and without internet, my questing for this band wasn’t as easy as it would be today >_>
I was newly 15, I had just made friends with an unlikely. In Jr.high and freshmen year I believed in rumors, and due to creepy comments about my nipples being hard in gym class, and a tale of how he lost his virginity in a bathroom of a motel 6 over break, I didn’t really ever see myself being friends with this person.That was all to change in World History that year. He sat right behind me, and would ask me about music, about how I was able to get cigarettes, if I did drugs >_> after the first semester my best friend at the time was no longer the student teacher for the class, which left my only friend to be this unlikely person ;p He turned out to be much more sensitive than I had imagined him to be, and he also got me in to a bunch of new music! He talked about being alone and sad things, so I invited him to come with me to Starbucks, I remember that night well EVERYONE was there, the whole gang welcomed him with open arms, and the unlikely became my best friend :D
He let me borrow his CD case one day and in that CD case was “Forever and Never” a Kill Hannah CD! When I heard the second track, “Kennedy” I totally shit my pants with excitement! That chick band that I had fallen in love with on the radio that day, wasn’t a chick band, it was a group of androgynous boys! EVEN BETTER! Kill Hannah became my favorite band instantly!…the only problem was, I lived in California, and absolutely no record stores carried their music >_<! My friend happened upon that CD only because he had gone to a HIM concert earlier that year and Kill Hannah had opened for them.
Several months later, several raves later my best friend pulls me out of a cuddle puddle and introduces me to a very tall attractive person in a Kill Hannah t-shirt (<—-that person later becomes my most evil ex) He was from Chicago and knew WAY more about the band than I did, we became friends on myspace, and eventually he became my first real relationship, my first real love, and the most painfully brutal breakup I have ever been through.
With this Kill Hannah boy, I made many bad life choices,I went through hell and back to be with him, but the one thing I can’t really regret is when I moved to Chicago with him. As we were flying over Illinois I had to play “Welcome to Chicago” on my ipod, like a geek :p When we lived together I really got to listen to Every single Kill Hannah song in existence, that lucky bastard had singles that had never even been released some how, and for a while I was happy, I was finally able to go to New Heart for Xmas that year (both days) which was seriously the coolest thing I have ever done! I went to shows at the Metro a bunch after that! It became my home, this city became my home, all the songs I had listened to over the years came to life in that city, singing out, “The Tains are sOOo Loud SOooOooo Louddddd!!!” and banging on poles at the L station after New Heart was one of my fondest memories.
After my heart was broken into a thousand pieces and I couldn’t stand another box of my stuff making it’s way back to California, I wrote to Mat Devine, and to my dismay he wrote me back! He really helped me with what I was going through.I saw them at house of Blues, Mat took a picture of my tattoo, and recommend a great bar he thought we should check out before the show, I told him we’d check it out…but alas I wasn’t 21 at the time, so I played it cool and instead we chugged a bunch of sparks in a nearby apartment complex under some stairs, where I projectile vomited for the first time, due to chugging too fast…it was a weird thing, one moment I am coolly talking to my fucking idol and the next I am projectile vomiting underneath some stairs >_> That was the last Kill Hannah show that I had the pleasure of going to, I remember afterwords feeling sad, that it would be a while until I’d get to see them again. Because not only do they put on the best live shows EVER but they always take the time to chat before and after their shows, which really makes Kill Hannah shows like fucking therapy for me lol maybe not therapy, but like, the most awesome drug, I can say that I feel happiest when I see them :)
The past few years were hard, to say the least. I lost someone close to me, and Kill Hannah got me through that too, I am still struggling with his loss every day but. I manage to get up and go to work, I manage to plaster on a smile, and go on.
I’ve had this amazing boyfriend the past 2 years, his name is Matt, not Mat Devine, but still pretty cute that I’d end up with a Matt :) He’s my best friend in the whole world, and it’s the first time I have ever been in a relationship that isn’t bad for my heart/life lol We were friends in High School, well I was in High School he was the kid who had just graduated, that had a crush on my good friend and would drive us to parties and stuff ;p We actually both lived in Chicago at the same time, but never saw each other. I remember calling him on nights when I was feeling alone, and needed someone to talk to but, he was trying to leave the past behind him and never picked up his phone >_> Fate is a funny thing….Anyway I bought us 2 tickets to the Roxy, so we’ll be seeing you, Kill Hannah on the 17th! It’s been a long time! I can’t wait!
I’m in my elementary school, or at least a place that looks like it. I often see dreams like this, fragments of the same tangential knot. My dreams are all in the same familiar place, a parallel universe to this one I suppose. I only really remember the end of this one. Students are all lined up on the grass waiting to go in from recess, and I’m running trying to catch up to someone, and there he is. Wearing his “home is in my head” shirt and sandals for some reason, I try screaming his name “Casey! Casey!” he doesn’t turn his head. The real thoughts start to leak into my mind…”he’s dead, he can’t hear you because he’s dead, and it’s creepy that you dream about him” I’m awake, I try and go back to sleep, but I can’t. He’s gone.
Found these at my local dollar tree!!
someone hook it up because my dollar tree sux